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Hey there,
Well i realize i have neglected my posting responsibilities lol.... anywho life has been tough lately. There are so many things that im saying "goodbye" to and have already.
Part of the reason why i haven't written has been because i was in the hospital for 4 days last last week, which was Thursaday, Friday,Saturday, and Sunday, under antibiotics and pain meds n i didnt really get a shot to post anything until i was ready to. On the third day of being in the hospital i had to have surgery on the under part of my right arm where i had an infection inside my skin. It was swollen and red and nasty; i couldn't even close my arm without feeling uncomfortable. it was pretty tough being in the hospital. i was there most of the time alone cuz my mom had to take care of chris n vale n work. Also my sisters and brother work as well so they barely even came. It got very depressing to tell you the truth, my friends went to see "Paranormal Activity" without me on friday and that really made me sad, like you guys dont know how sad it made me feel. IT SUCKED MAJOR ASS to be alone that night in the hospital hooked up on meds to keep the pain away and no one but my nurse who came around every hour to check one me. But all i can say is w.e. right? "let it go"? yea w.e. Anyways that friday they were telling me i was to have surgery and since the morning  i couldn't eat anything so on top of everything they starved me and all i could have in my mouth was ice-fricken-cubes grrr. Yea all day that day i was scared out of my mind that i was ganna have surgery n that i was alone for it, manu tried to calm me down but i was scared shitless. But then around 8ish they told me that they were going to push my surgery to Saturday, n so i had to go threw another day of pain pain pain...alone. Luckly though that day i got my phone reconnected and i was able to txt ppl and i finally got to eat too HEAVENNNNN!. Anywho Saturday came around n again i didn't eat up until after my surgery which was like 6ish 7ish. It lasted 3 hours and i had 1 hour in the recovery room before they took me back to my room. i swear it was the strangest feeling waking up, i had no idea where i was n i still had a tube of some kind in my nose and it felt really weird, but i was really out of it n i was still out of it after i got in my room n my sis came from the waiting area to see me. I felt really sore and nauseous but atleast
the pain was a bit better. That day after the surgery my friends gabby made true to her word and came to see me with her little sister, so did crustation and melody. It was nice to see other ppl other then my doctors n my mom to be honest. Anyways after Gabby, Adriana, and Chris left melody stayed the night with me which was cool cuz i wasn't alone and she helped me eat and stuff which really helped n that kinda of made up a little for how sad i felt . Anyway  the next day we woke up n hung out a lil then my nurse came by and changed my bandage which was EXTREMELY PAINFUL, like you have noooooooooooooo idea how painful, but i took the pain....sort of lol.. i actually cried and screamed like a baby. Later on that day my fam n chris came n they let me leave the hospital and that first week was horrible. This week isn't as bad as last week which is ok i guess, school still sucks ass though. Every fucking day it sucks ass. Ive had so much on my mind that its been tough to keep a straight focus on anything. I cant stand it anymore... and today i got possibly the worst new ever. My best friend of 7 years, that moved to Seattle, is leaving to spain finally. I miss her already but now that shes going to spain and the fact thats shes hurting breaks my heart into many many pieces and it hurts me as well. i couldn't believe it wen she told me that she was leaving.... well more that i couldnt believe that her own father would do that to her just to keep her around. I mean maybe im wrong but it just doesn't seem fare and selfish to me. And i feel frustrated and and angry and.....just flat out so SAD like where ur heart kinda hurts, that kinda sad. She told me today n we both cried on the phone which is serious cuz manu hardly cries in front of me or on the phone with me. But we balled our eyes out today n that just sucks.... and i..dont..know... how anything is ganna go down anymore.

I Feel....stuck.
Hugs and Teddy Bears

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aww hunny buns why havent you told me anything :/ you coulda tlaked to me about it =[ ilyyy...
and yeah itll be fun i u guys move in together. you guy s are like sisters you need eachother more then anything so im glad you guys are gonna move in together when u graduate.
have fun

Ur ganna be with us too silly billy. :) n i didnt tell u cuz i dont want to worry u.

nooo you wouldnt be worrying me., i totally understand.
its fine when u dont want to tell me something. i just rather you talk about it ... it hurts more when u dont let it out =/
but soon well see her. hopefully she still comes december =D

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