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Pressing replay
I press play... I listen to Jason Mraz sing of the details in the fabric. My mind, body and soul lay still. I open up to the memories and feels that all feel synced together in a tangled web...a web. I can see everything so clearly. I can feel it. The laughs of the past echo and virbate through me so fierce and full of joy. I think..what to fill a jar with those laughs, though not all mine still feel like mine. Ripples of sound caused by moments in time that though forgotten, still play...and play...and play... i dont want to let them go. I dont.. but ive lost them. The people that caused those ripples. The laughs that i couldnt keep locked in a jar. I want to replay them forever. Replay them again and again if its all ive got. But why not fix and mend the broken glass? Bring back those laughs. Fill the room, the air, time and space. Make new memories.. i dont want to replay anymore. I want to play new laughs. Can I?

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

So.. i realised this morning that the reason why ive been so out of it lately...truthfully is because i dont have a person to call best friend. I have friends but unfortunately the one person that i feel will understand me or the one person i feel i want to spill my guts isnt there for me. I dont have that person and ive been surpressing those feelings and thoughts for a while now. But truthfully im tired. Im tired of "growing apart". Why do we have to "grow apart"?! What is there to grow apart from?! What fucking changed? I STILL DONT GET IT! I DONT UNSERSTAND! I just need you and i still cant believe it was this easy for you to break our friendship. Why? I was that horrible to you as a friend?! IM SORRY! ← That is something i would and could say to her but A. Would it matter? B. Would she listen and understand? and C. Would it make a difference?